There are a ton of skills I have that I'm proud of, but can't go on my resume. I always think of what it would look like if I was 100% honest. So, I decided to make a completely fake resume of my most important skills.
DISCLAIMER: While some of what you'll see is truthful ,this is NOT my real resume. This is 100% satire and is not to be taken seriously. If you would like a peep at my real resume please contact me directly.
Hello
I’m Kaitlyn Shepard
I’m Kaitlyn Shepard
FORT CARSON
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO
(123) 456-7890
Skills
I possess many impressive skills including eating a crunchwrap supreme while driving, choreographing car dance routines, and tracking down manly useless information on the Internet.
Experience
FEBRUARY 2016 - PRESENT
The Shepard Household, Fort Carson, CO - Wife/House Manager
- Clean the kitchen at least four times a day
- Plan and execute cleaning schedule
- Provide care to #ivythepup
JANUARY 2015 - SEPTEMBER 2015
Detroit Tigers, Lakeland, FL - Group Sales Intern
- Fell in love with working in baseball
- Pulled tarp at least 80 times
AUGUST 2013 - DECEMBER 2014
Florida Southern College, Lakeland, FL - Lifeguard at Campus Recreation
- Admired the swim team
- Lived life in a bathing suit
- Swam my life away
Education
AUGUST 2013 - DECEMBER 2014
Florida Southern College, Lakeland, FL - Bachelor of Science in Business Administration
I really enjoyed my time at FSC. I really perfected my social skills and grew as a person. Activities included: Kappa Delta Sorority, Buck Stop Model, and the Queen of Kau Kau Koner.
Awards
Fitbit Top Badges: High Tops(20,00 steps in a day), New Zealand (990 lifetime miles), Skyscraper (100 floors in a day), and 747 (4,000 lifetime floors).
Please remember that this is all in good fun. My real resume is something I've spent quite some time on. You wouldn't find about 90% of this on there. Anyway, hope this provides you with a laugh (or two).
Until next time,
K.Shep
K.Shep
